I almost forgot.. I have good friends! I call them "barkada", "tropa" most of the time, but seldom I meant the word. Friends that I rarely converse with. Although most of them are living with me since college days, I feel that physical presence is not enough. It took alot for me to finally feel the friendship thing. We've been to many rollercoaster rides and yet I barely appreciate them. Now that I'm away (btw, I'm in Japan now for some business trip), I feel the emptiness in me - emptiness that only them can fill. I'm so stupid because if not for this trip, I won't be able to realize that these people are the ones who helped me overcome the struggles of life. How stupid! Now, I've learned my lesson. I just realized how lucky I am for having them. Its a one-in-a-million shot for a man to have such blessing.
I almost forgot.. I have a very loving family. My relationship with my family is not perfect. We were not bestfriends. We have'nt had any parent-kid talk, nor with my siblings. I rarely had the chance to tell them what I feel or what I think about things. There's this thin line between me and them. But that was the past. Since I went to college, which btw also meant living away from them, the thin line between us slowly burnt away. Whenever I come home, I can feel the excitement in them. The care, the longingness to be with me, to hear my stories. As I write this entry, the line is no longer there. I just feel that with all these changes in our relationship, I did'nt have the guts to appreciate them. To tell them "thank you". To make-up with the lost time.
I almost forgot.. we were created with two ears and just one mouth. haha.. You got that right. I am the type of person who hadly listens and talks alot. Bragging, talking about myself, my experiences, my thoughts are my best games. I'd rather talk than listen. In all occassions, friends, work, I am the great speaker. But more than the contentment I feel in boasting, I realized that there's alot more in listening. The learning is too overwhelming plus the "trust" thing - that there's this someone who shares his/her story about life. God. Can't tell the excitement it brings. So goal for this year, listen more and talk less!
I almost forgot.. the feeling of inlove. I've been celebrating singles awareness day for quite sometime now. I don't know why. Last time I checked, I was in my senior year since I had one great love story. Btw, I also blogged that one here. Can't remeber the feeling. As if love is a new thing to me. Loveless at 24! On the contrary, I don't feel empty.haha Maybe because my need for love is above the shallow waters of a pond. But who knows, never say die! It'll come one day, I know, when everything is in its proper place.
